Don't Bring a Mental Health Counselor to a Termination Interview

Please don't do it. If you're terminating an employee and are worried about his possible emotional reaction at the termination meeting, don't ask a mental health counselor to be there just in case. It's about the dumbest thing you can do. For one thing, it's unethical. An uninvited solicitation of a person to become a client is what this adds up to, and this violates client self-determination principles. A mental health counselor is not a fire extinguisher. Fear of an employee's emotional reaction in a termination interview is not uncommon, but to assume it will happen? Why? What are you trying to prevent? No mental health counselor will be able to intervene at that moment. Experience shows that such fears by managers are usually not realized. If your company is smart enough to have real, live, warm-body type EAP counselor working or on contract with your organization, definitely pass the number on to the employee. (Also, managers may also find it helpful to consult with the EAP before meeting with an employee in order to help allay fears and formulate a more effective dismissal meeting.) This all falls under the heading of using the EAP in supervision. The rationale? You can't manage personal problems employees and must incorporate EAP Theory in management practices to reduce behavioral risk in your organization. You can get monthly guidance from an expert on better ways to interface with your employees and help their personal problems not interfere with productivity by getting a free trial to Frontline Supervisor newsletter here.

The Employee Straightened Up, So Why Do I Not Want to Treat Him Like It

Okay, so you confronted your long-term, problematic poor performer. You put the fear of God in him, and he went for some sort of help. What ever it was, it worked. Now he wants a different relationship with you, but you're still not over your anger about his irresponsibility for the past several years. You need to get over this attitude and fast.

This is not your spouse who suddenly decided to get sober. I have seen relapses happen over this sort of thing. The problem: You have a mindset and a well-honed "neurologic" pathway in your brain of seeing your employee as a loser. Now, you need the help. Not him.

This is the same syndrome that is experienced by family members when an alcohol or drug addict finally recovers--seriously recovers. Do you realize that you can, by your attitude, create a situation where your employee relapses into poor performance again. If this happens, you will of course blame the employee, but what you did was PROVOKE IT.

So, it is normal and natural to get mad at your employee for wasting years of time and along with it lost productivity. You won however. You salvaged your employee.

Often, supervisors feel that a troubled employee put the workplace through a long period of disruption before he or she finally sought help. Consider the following in order to acquire a more positive attitude and lessen the likelihood that you could act provocatively and jeopardize your employee’s progress: 1) Assume employees want to do a good job and feel good about their work. 2) Believe that some personal problems do not easily permit self-diagnosis or self-motivated decisions to seek help. Instead, some personal problems and diseases are naturally fought with denial until consequences nearly overwhelm the victim or others. 3) With this understanding, focus on the present and reinforce the changes made by your employee. This will increase productivity and help you develop a more supportive attitude.

Reducing the Risk of Violence with Better Relational Skills with Your Employees

In the workplace drug and alcohol use is the primary cause of violence, from fistfights to rape. About 15 people are murdered on the job each week. Surprised? They aren't all as sensational as Fort Hood, but hundreds of murders occur in the workplace each year.

Only exceptional cases make it to the national news, and certainly every one makes the local press. As a supervisor or manager, you want to ensure that you do not become famous in this particular way, so here are a few tips with regard to the relationship that you have with your employees. The most important is to listen, detect, and pay attention to their complaints.

Come down hard on employees who bully others, tease an employee for the behavior, ethnic background, funny looks, or odd poorly-formed social skills. Listen more to employees who are airing complaints. Give positive comments to employees and deal with any personal issues you have that interfere with your ability to demonstrate warmth and positive regard to employees.

Follow up more after an employee is terminated. Of course, this is usually a human resource function, and even HR may have a hard time doing.

Resistance to dealing with the employee's anguish makes this a tough assignment, but you must figure out how to insert support into the larger picture and not simply decide that the employee needs to lump it. Well, you can, but there are certain profiles of employee that present extraordinary risk if you decide to go this route.

The bells should go off if your employees is male, an historically poor performer or loner, has any fascination with guns, has previously threatened to act violently, has been working for the company for about five years, or is an ostracized, socially awkward, or bullied employee.

You know right now which employees in your organization are picked on, teased, held up to ridicule, or otherwise abused. These are ticking time-bombs.

So what if you terminate an employee along with HR helping you do it. Phoning the employee ain't likely. After all, the employee may hate your guts. So what's the answer.

Use your company's employee assistance program or EAP, and DO NOT involve them in the terminations, less they become "contaminated". They will not be able to provide support in the form of a listening ear later if you force the EAP into doing this. It is also arguable, inappropriate and unethical to surprise an employee with the EAP sitting in the termination interview. (Why? It violates the doctrine of client self-determination of asking for help, and not have the helper go to the employee. This doctrine applies to all helping professions. This is why psychologist don't knock on your front door or phone you to ask whether you need services.)

Long before ever having to terminate employee, make liberal use of the program as a referral source for dealing with troubled employees. That includes the following: Those with poor performance, victims of accidents or incidents, recipients of disciplinary actions, coworkers in conflict, employees with garnished wages or who come to your attention by way of media incidents, legal problems, or other behaviors, employees who tell you first about a personal problem affecting the lives or performance.

A newsletter to help your supervisor develop better relational skills with subordinates is FrontLine Supervisor. You can get a free trial subscription here. There is lower rate for any company with fewer than 100 employees. Ask about it. Or you can learn all about this publication here.

How to Turn Away, Not Turn Off A Troubled Employee

You don't want troubled employees lining up at your door to discuss all the personal problems they experience in their lives. Unfortunately, I have seen things get almost this bad with some supervisors play an almost mother hen role with subordinates.

The trick is getting your employee, who may be incline to process personal problems until the cows come home, to turn to other resources available to them that are more effective than you. (I hope that didn't sound insulting, but only like a rat tail snap in the butt!)

If you are good listener, you have a double-edged sword working for and against you. It's difficult to turn away an employee who approaches you to discuss a personal problem. However, if your employees do come to share, it may be difficult to ask them to go somewhere else.

Appearing as though you are disinterested or too busy to care may be your biggest concern. Still, a counselor, doctor, mental health pro, or EAP is the better choice. To make your referral task easier, while minimizing the likelihood that your employee will feel rejected and stomp off, try the following:

1. Appear interested and listen to the problem presented by your employee. (No problem with that.)
2. Demonstrate empathy by acknowledging your employee's stress or anxiety. This helps the employee feel accepted and increases motivation for further problem solving.
3. Tell the employee that you are glad he or she feels comfortable approaching you with an important personal problem.
4. State that although you are concerned, you believe a better source of help would be_______. Hopefully your company has provided service or recommended statement to use when employees bring personal problems. Even if a company does not have an EAP, there should be some policy that essentially offers an officially sanctioned statement of referral to some community resource.
5. Assist the employee in making contact with the recognized source of help by providing the phone number or inviting the employee to call from your office for an appointment. (Very effective.)